Issue 20

May 14, 2024

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3 Steps to Overcome (and Grow From) Impostor Syndrome

You can't prevent impostor syndrome from happening, but you can control how you respond to it. And your response can turn this negative experience into a positive one.

I've changed careers and jobs and even started my own business. I've felt like a fraud before with nothing to offer. It's a scary feeling that can rob you of confidence and replace it with doubt.

Over the years I've learned how to respond to these feelings and use them as a growth opportunity. I want to share three steps to not only help you overcome impostor syndrome but also grow from it.

Why your response matters

On the surface, impostor syndrome is a bunch of negative feelings. You might feel afraid, helpless, fake, or dishonest. There's nothing wrong with having these feelings. But be careful with your response.

An open mind and positive attitude can help you grow from the experience. Meanwhile, a negative and dismissive response can be detrimental to your mental health. It can cripple your self-confidence. And it can become challenging to complete tasks you've been doing for years.

Impostor syndrome can creep up when you least expect it. And it's not something you can avoid with certainty. Yet, you can plan how to respond when it happens again. Before I share my approach to dealing with this, let's review what not to do.

How not to respond

Sometimes people respond to impostor syndrome without much thought. This can cause more harm than good. There are several types of responses that you should avoid.

Complete dismissal

Outright dismissal or denial of your feelings when impostor syndrome strikes is dangerous. When feelings aren't processed, they can boil over like a pot of water and create a mess.

Absolute acceptance

Unconditional acceptance of negative feelings about yourself is also a bad response. Don't jump to conclusions when you're feeling down. You could start believing things about yourself that aren't even true.

Overcorrection

Another unhealthy response to impostor syndrome is to overcorrect your actions. For example, you might think you're bad at public speaking. So you decide to spend hours every day trying to improve these skills. You don't need to do that. You can get better at public speaking without overcommitting.

How to respond

The next time you feel impostor syndrome coming on, try these steps. They've worked for me in the past.

1 - Acknowledge

Pay attention to your feelings. If you're scared or afraid, accept it. If you feel worthless or vulnerable, acknowledge it. Recognizing these feelings will help you deal with them later. You don't have to like them, but you do have to acknowledge them.

If you can, stop what you're doing and take a break. It's completely understandable to end your workday early or reschedule a meeting. Especially if your mental health is unstable.

When you acknowledge your feelings in real time, you do two things:

1. Send your mind and body a message that you're not running away.
2. Learn from your experiences.

2 - Learn

You can learn a lot from your feelings. When you take the time to identify them, you can expose their triggers. Does a certain person, event, or task trigger impostor syndrome? This is good to know, especially if you want to grow.

In this step, it's also beneficial to dig deeper and discover why you feel this way. Do you feel unprepared whenever you talk about a specific topic? Do you feel incompetent every time you use a certain technology? There might be a reason why.

This could be a sign that your skills aren't as developed as you want them to be. And that's okay. This is an observation, not a fact. Still, it's worth investigating further. Impostor syndrome can manifest when you lack skills or knowledge in something.

3 - Grow

After you acknowledge your feelings and learn from them, you're ready to grow.

When you learn the triggers for impostor syndrome, you can better prepare for them.

• Take a walk or meditate for a few minutes before a meeting.
• Review your previous wins before working on a daunting task.
• Share how you're feeling with your co-worker or manager.

You won't know if something works until you try it. Keep in mind that growth occurs at the edge of your comfort zone.

Don't worry if the previous step made you realize you need to gain new skills or knowledge. That's a blessing in disguise. Many never take the time to figure this out, much less do something about it. Your willingness to learn and grow is a remarkable character trait.

Growth won't happen overnight, but if you set actionable goals, you will make progress. Don't underestimate how effective a 15 to 30-minute time block on your calendar can be. In a matter of minutes, you can learn something new or even change your entire perspective.

Impostor syndrome happens to all of us, but not everyone conquers it. The next time it happens, use the steps I shared with you to overcome and grow from it.

Thanks for reading this week. See you next week! 👋

David Weiss Founder • Made by DW ​Follow me on X, LinkedIn, & Instagram​

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